Monday Fun Forwards

Mondays. I usually like to jump into the work week with gusto. But it is summer. And it is hot. It's much more reasonable to sit in the air conditioning and procrastinate for a few minutes.

But it is good to look like you are working. Returning emails--which always seems to take a little longer on Monday mornings. Here's something fun that I found in my email box. Copy, paste and forward on to your friends.

--------------------

Instructions: Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think...

Pick Your Artist: The Beatles

Are you a male or female: Lady Madonna

Describe yourself: I am the Walrus

How do you feel: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Describe where you currently live: Across the Universe

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Strawberry Fields Forever

You and your friends are: Here, There, and Everywhere

What's the weather like: Rain

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Eight Days a Week

What is life to you: Magical Mystery Tour

Your last relationship: All My Loving

Your fear: No Reply

What is the best advice you have to give: All You Need is Love

How I would like to die: I'll Follow the Sun

My motto: Let it Be

Woot! Zombies!

My four year old niece introduced me to a new exclamation about a year ago: "Woot berries!" she exclaimed in a moment of pure joy. Knowing that kids are inventive, but not THAT inventive, I procured my Encyclopedia Brown detective skills.

"Where did you learn that phrase?" I asked.

"I dunno," she replied.

"Is that from a movie? Or a cartoon? Or a book that you've read?"

"I dunno," she replied again, this time shrugging her shoulders.

"Do any of your friends say that? At school? " I probed again.

"I don't know!" she said, this time enunciating each word with emphasis as only a three year old can, stomping her right foot with each syllable.

And that was the end of that.

Months later, I've noticed the word "woot" showing up in emails and blog posts and flyers at the YMCA. Hmmmm. Time to look "woot" up on Urban Dictionary. Now I know. And you do, too.

I'm thoroughly enjoying this book, which one might not expect to hear about on NPR. Plan ahead and suggestion it for your October Book Club selection.

Venerable, Vulnerable, Blues

Today is the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola.

David Ignatius wrote this ponderable piece in yesterday's Washington Post.

And this little kid has a lot of the blues, and a good bit of talent in his little body. Don't fret: this little man has never been to Reno.

Whale of a tale

Mila, a thoughtful and sensitive beluga whale in Northeast China, had a moment. Here's the tale. Have you hugged a whale today?

And no, Virginia, beluga caviar comes from the sturgeon, not the whale.

That's Entertainment...

I do not own a TV. I do not watch television. I must, therefore, find other ways to entertain myself.

Please note that I did not say that I don't watch TV shows. For that there is Hulu, among other things.

One entertainer in particular has kept me quite entertained this summer: Nathan Fillion. He has been on Firefly. which led to Serenity, with a detour over to Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Good stuff for procrastination galore.

Most recently, Nathan Fillion has appeared on the ABC series Castle as the main character Richard Castle. He has tweeted as himself, and (I just discovered) as his character. Well done, Mr. Fillion.

Tell me a story

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

This morning I came across this story, which tells of one man's photo-of-the-day chronicle. Some stories, as they say, take no words at all.

Don't overthink it

Harder for some of us than others to disengage from our regularly scheduled program. Here are a few pit stops on the way off the grid for the weekend.

Do something silly this weekend, but don't be a weiner.

This wedding entrance should get the party started.

Now go, roam free. Watch some Saturday morning cartoons, if you get the chance.

Don't be a Twit

Dictionary.com offers several definitions for the word "twit," both as a noun and a verb. Among them (as a noun) are "a foolishly annoying person," and "a weak or thin place in yarn caused by uneven spinning."

It is this second definition that came to mind while reading about the tweeting of the soon-to-be-former governor of the fourty-ninth state on Gawker.com. This is a cautionary tale, Gentle Reader. Let not the fabric of your moral nor mental fiber wear so thin as to make of yourself a twit. And of course, if a bear tweets in the woods, is it not better to simply let it be?

It seems she is not the only one to succumb to the the tempting vixen that is Twitter. This post presents some other examples. Seriously, folks, yes, you can report to the world your every thought and movement (in 140 characters or less), but does anyone care? And if they do, what is your audience's motivation?

Hey, if you are going to tweet, keep it light, like Nathan Fillion. At least he is aware that folks who follow tweets are voyeurs, and he posts appropriately. Yes, the man panders well to his target demographic. Thanks for that, Captain Tight Pants.

Target Demographic

I recently attended a wine and jewelry event at an upscale suburban mall with a friend of mine. This friend (let's call her Judy) LOVES things that are shiny and pretty with fancy packaging. She also loves wine. And she love a good sales pitch. Judy was in heaven.

The event was basically a progressive wine tasting, allowing the jewelry stores in the mall (surely hard hit by the current economy) to make showcase their wares to the progressively inebriated. Each time we walked into a new jewelry store, Judy would "oooh" and "ahhh" over whatever was shiniest until she had the attention of some eager salesperson.

"Your friend seems to be really enjoying herself," said one saleswoman, sidling up to me rather casually.

"Yes," I replied, "she IS your target demographic."

"Perhaps I can show you some of our bracelets," she said, eagerly reaching for her keys to open one of the display cases.

"No, thank you," I replied firmly but otherwise devoid of emotion. "I'm just the designated driver."

When it comes down to it, every single thing that is bought or sold or consumed or traded or marketed or shown on TV/the Internet/at the movies is created with a target demographic in mind. This may explain why my parents don't get the humor on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and why The View does not appeal to my nephew.

But whose target demographic are YOU? Have you ever stopped to think for a moment? Do you fall into the "wired teen hyper texting nano gizmo" crowd who MUST have an iPhone on their person at all times and post on Twitter no less than ten times an hour? Or are you with the "super crunchy peaceful karmic natural granola" crowd who only buy organic and know how to recycle anything? Perhaps you relate to the "instant info all access media frenzy" crowd, with their televisions constantly tuned in to CNN while surfing on MSNBC, TMZ and the Huffington Post.

Just something to think about today. Let's consider it a few minutes of self-contemplation procrastination. I'm not saying you have to share with your neighbors--unless you have something to sell and they are your target demographic.

We the People

I love it when questions from the current version of the US Citizen test are made available in quiz form, such as this one. As a natural born citizen of the United States, I never had to take one of these tests, but it is a source of great pride that I can take and pass such a test if required.

In Brian Williams' blog post from yesterday, he included this message emailed to him by a Medal of Honor recipient:

4th of July

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr. noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.

So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

*************

And in case you are curious, check out these tidbits about four founding fathers you might not have read about in history class.

If this is Wednesday, it must be the Food Section

Lots of interesting things are popping up on my radar in the food world, most of it from the New York Times.

First, there was this gem from earlier this week, featuring a photo of Kalustyan's on Lex at 28th. More about obscure history than food, but I'm going to look for that little plaque the next time I go there.

Oh, and check out Here is Where while you're at it.

I was surprised to read in "Off the Menu" that Payard Patisserie on the Upper East Side is now closed, due to a "rent dispute." They had such lovely Gâteau St. Honoré. It is a reminder that good food is fleeting. Eat it while you can.

And while the Fancy Food Show returned to Manhattan this past weekend, the UnFancy Food Show in Brooklyn was a much more interesting and entertaining. Put it on your calendar for next year.

My brother-in-law, who brews beer, may never have considered growing his own hops, but after reading this he might. I don't think he is much of a green thumb, so perhaps a bargain to barter can be struck. Fresh hops for beer seems like a good deal to me.

Speaking of beer, I've been noticing an increase in chile beers (as in flavored with chiles, not Chilean beer). Is this going to be like the chile peppers in chocolate fad? I'm really okay with my beer being beer (and my chocolate being chocolate). I love a good, complex wine. But please, let beer be beer. Is it too much to ask?

In Oakland, California, these folks are "urban homesteading." I sent this link to a friend and asked, "how do we find these people?" She replied, "you ARE these people."

I won't argue.

It's summer, and Thursday is Market Day. I have plans for some strawberries, peaches, and tomatoes.

Go eat something wonderfully tasty today.

What's in a name?

I stumbled upon this other procrastination file earlier today. It's only been around for about a month. I suppose it was just a matter of time before someone else came up with another procrastination file blog. Take a trip over to poke around and check it out.

I also came across this essay and this picto-blog entry while relaxing with my Sunday morning coffee. I looked around at the other people sitting in the coffee shop, eager to engage in discussion about them (or about anything, really). But people in suburban California don't really seem interested in those types of discussions.

Man, I miss Manhattan. For the interesting conversations, and the bagels, and the shoes. A well travelled friend of mine warned that I wouldn't last long in high heels during my stay in California. "All the women out there wear flip flops. You'll cave, too." Not yet, Mr. S.

It's been a week filled with iconic loss. First Farrah, then Michael, then Ed, now Billy Mays. Odd, yes, but true. Funny the way it is.

If You Are Lucky Enough to be in the Mountains...

...then you are lucky enough.

Or so reads a sign on a cabin near Yosemite. Where there is no wi-fi, no cell phone service, no Starbucks. But the coffee is richer, the beer is colder, and the company is better than anywhere you'll find it "on the grid."

It's not challenging to find ways to procrastinate in the mountains. Windy roads and deer keep one from driving too fast. Stories are told with more colorful imagery than the latest summer blockbuster. And every cup of coffee comes with an up-to-the-minute local weather report.

So please excuse my brief absence. After all, procrastination takes many forms.

Have you met the most interesting man in the world? There's a social commentary in there about the success of an ad campaign based on mystery at the height of the no-privacy, no-mystery, all-access-pass media orgy of reality TV and InMyFaceSter culture. I had a great time employing this tactic with a new acquaintance I met up in the mountains--a friend of a friend I hadn't seen in years. A little mystery always makes for a good story.

Matchmaking, Editorials, and Apologies

One of my best friends is getting married next weekend and the wedding festivities will span almost an entire week. He and is bride-to-be are very laid back, easy going folks, but their families are super hyped up about the "big event." Luckily the happy couple planned ahead and scheduled some very low key, time consuming activities throughout the week including a softball game, BBQ, and lawn mini-golf. It's really not that different from hanging out with them on any given weekend.

One thing that has me a little nervous is the distinct possibility that there are plans in motion to couple me up with someone(s) at the wedding. I'm all for meeting people the old fashioned way--in person, through mutual friends, at parties, etc. But KH and I have been friends for over 20 years. He's got stories about me of the really embarrassing variety. Up until now that wasn't an issue because he was in the dating world, too. But his fiance knows most of those stories now and still wants to marry him (God bless her). So my firewall of reciprocity is about to be compromised.

Which brings us to internet dating. I read this interesting commentary in Newsweek about friends playing matchmaker online.

Newsweek has a guest editor this week. Find out the surprising stand-in and read his editorial here.

There's buzz about Julia Roberts on David Letterman's show and a comment she made earlier this week. She said he is "so much funnier than other people who talk at this time of the evening." Yes, the obvious reference is to Conan O'Brien on The Tonight Show. But it could also refer to Stephen Colbert, Ted Koppel, Larry King, or Chris Matthews. Talk amongst yourselves.

Dave also responded to some outrage about a few jokes he made on his show. Est quod est.

Feel like a five minute vegge-out? Check out some random facts.

Good Eats, Foodorama, and a Little Light Reading

Alton Brown has that show on the Food Network. He was a big fan of Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet on PBS all those years ago. But that's not the direction of my procrastination today.

I am entirely entertained by the headline "World Hangs on Obama's Every Bite." With a slide show. There's even a blog called "Obama Foodorama." I am confident that Barack and Michelle will get a viewing of Food, Inc. I'd love to be in the room for the post viewing conversations.

Speaking of movies, I'm eagerly awaiting Julie & Julia later this month. Meryl Streep as Julia Child seems like perfect casting.

The Julie/Julia started as a blog, then became a book. That gives me hope. And gets me thinking.

I still have not yet read Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. Further up my list is this spoof by Andrew Gottlieb.

Finally, a Drive Thru Folk Song. Enjoy.

If It's Tuesday, You Must Be Kidding

Have you ever had one of those days where things seem so absurd you think you're in a Mel Brooks movie? Or like you are lost in an M.C. Escher print? I'm having that day.

Perhaps it's time to check my horoscope.

My big bro is in the hospital and I'm fascinated by the hospital food they are serving up.

Speaking of food, have you seen the trailer for Food, Inc.? The film opens in NYC, LA and SF this Friday, June 12. The New York Times offers this take on it. Not what you'd call an "Up" movie.

Today's exit strategy? Plan a vacation. Maybe Belgium.

Tasty Salted Pig Parts, Coffee and Topics of Conversation

I'm in love with Tasty Salted Pig Parts. Mmmmm.

This morning I'm sitting down with a piping hot cup of coffee brewed from beans roasted at the Ojai Coffee Roasting Company. Order your own pound of PNG (regular/light, or dark) today.

Now for some topics of conversation to get your week rolling.

Have you stumbled yet on Goop.com--Gwyneth Paltrow's newsletter/blog/website where she shares her take on things to make, places to go, things to do, what to get, how to be, and what to see to "nourish the inner aspect." She mentioned it last week when she appeared on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, and folks might not be talking about it as much as her shiny legs and strategic hand placement to cover up a rather revealing short skirt.

And in case you missed it, dapper and down-to-earth Brian Williams and a sizable crew from NBC spent a few days Inside the Obama White House. Brian was momentarily out of his element when POTUS asked him if he wanted a burger while standing at the counter at Five Guys. I've been to the Five Guys at Brewers Hill in Baltimore, and while it is a bit overwhelming to have so many options (In 'n' Out is more my style), I can understand how having the Commander in Chief take your order can throw one for a loop. More than nine million viewers reportedly tuned in for the original TV broadcast on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. Folks are still talking about it a week later, so go play catch up if you must. Yes, there are a few bits on the new first dog, too, and someone had fun making a "Best of Bo" clip.

A shout out to my boy Stephen Colbert, in Iraq this week entertaining the troops and filming his show. It brings new meaning to the phrase, "I am America, and so can you!"

In other news, people are treading lightly about the death of David Carradine. I'm left to wonder if this is out of respect for his family and friends as they grieve, or because the media is at a loss of how to address the "bizarre questions" raised by the circumstances of his death. I give full props to Brian Alexander of MSNBC for addressing some of these taboo topics this article. You can read more of his writing in his Sexploration column on MSNBC.

On a final note, my eldest sister had a smashing birthday party last night. Here's my day after gift to you. Smooches.

Coco Christopher and his band of merry men

Have you seen the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien? His first night hosting was on Monday, and he did a very good job. But last night's show had me laughing out loud and harder than I have in some time. His guests were Tom Hanks and Green Day. Go, right now, and watch the show if you have not seen it. Seriously, because they won't have it available online for long.

TGIF

Friday again, and my morning is starting off way too early. While the coffee is brewing, I got my morning jolt of optimism when I read this.

By the way, have you had the chance to fall for Jimmy Fallon? Jimmy took over Late Night for Conan O'Brien, who is taking over The Tonight Show starting on Monday night, June 1, 2009. Conan is a guest tonight on Jay Leno's last broadcast as host of The Tonight Show.

Congratulations to Kavya Shivashanka, the lovely young lady from the great state of Kansas, who is winner of this year's Scripps National Spelling Bee. I'm not sure exactly why I'm so enthralled by spelling bee competitions, and I wonder about the future and relevancy of them considering the twitter-text-message culture of lol, c u l8r, emoticonic communication of the day. Try your hand with this spelling bee quiz. And this movie is worthy of a lazy weekend viewing.

Remember the Atlantis landing earlier this week? Do you know how they get it back to Florida when it lands in California? It catches a ride on a 747. Check out this "Image of the Day" on the Nasa Website Image Gallery.

That's all for now, folks. The weather looks great this weekend. Look for mid-70's in San Francisco and Seattle, low 80's in Atlanta, a little rain for Boston and New York, and plenty of sunshine with mid to upper 80's in Olathe, Kansas.

Vacation Notice

Still have vacation on the brain? This article says it plainly: Only YOU can prevent vacation deprivation.

My favorite vacation notice came from New York City's finest, under the direction of Guiliani, as announced over a megaphone to the occupants of a squat in the East Village: "You are all in violation of a vacation notice!" Applause and laughter erupted, along with joyful cheers of, "Horray! We're going on vacation!" It helps to keep one's sense of humor when confronted with hundreds of men in riot gear. Especially when you're just hanging out and playing Scrabble.

I'm looking forward to a few days in San Francisco in the very near future. Did you know today is the 72nd birthday of the (opening of the) Golden Gate Bridge? Check out some cool photos here. I'm hoping to check out the street food scene for myself while I'm there. And kitchenette. Maybe even an edible expedition.

I've already told you about Mental Floss. Now don't forget this stuff for your teeth.

Wednesday always feels like a mini-vacation to me because of the food section. This site stays up to date all week.

And to my about-to-debut nephew, there's a vacation notice with your name on it, buddy. You've got a few more weeks to hang out in your happy place, so no need to rush. If you procrastinate too long, you will be shown the exit.